I have had a number of relationships with a number of partners. Most of them came from various diverse countries. My father once said that I have a unique way of learning about different cultures….
Three years ago, after my second divorce, I began meeting Avishai. We are both in our 40s, both divorced with children. Our first meeting was in a coffee shop, something odd, not connected to my life, and yet the longing to have a relationship made me going on a date in a late hour, being very tired.
I was wondering how is it that at this age I find myself going back to this “dating” scene. Until then I met my partners through dancing, through my career, through my travels. I was constantly around people. I have never gone out for a date, yet life summoned me a new challenge, going for a date.
Good friends came over to babysit my son; I got delayed with choosing which shoes I will ware. I didn’t want to go out; maybe I wanted but was afraid.
At that moment, while changing again the shoes, wondering what will suit best, high heels, flat shoes, I have decided that the very act of going out to the unknown is a success, since I am challenging myself to something new, and whatever will happen later, is a bonus. Continue reading →

A few years ago, I met an old friend. To my question “how do you feel”, she replied “excellent”.
Her answer hit me. It was not just “good” or “ok”. “Excellent”, she said.
She was smiling, saying,” yes, I am happy”. What has happened” I asked, she said, “I have decided to be happy”.

Her answer made me think. What does it mean to decide to be happy? Satisfied? Contented?
Knowing that I need to do a constant internal work, stroke me.
Being in a state of misery, anger and frustration, takes energy.
However, being in a state of happiness, content and joy also takes energy. So, if I need to work on my feelings, I’d rather work on being in a state happiness. Continue reading →